Can i not drive my cunt home
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
