I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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