I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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