Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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