so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
