If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
