First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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