He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
