If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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