8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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