dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
