I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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