OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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