its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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