dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
