no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Swine flu. Run for my life!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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