I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
