she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
