Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You smell like stripper and shame
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
