I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
