I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
