It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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