could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
