WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
