update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
