quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
