So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
