I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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