dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
