why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
