All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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