I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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