before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
