Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
