Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
