Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
