Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
