last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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