the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Congratulations! We have a period
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
