is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
