why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
