Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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