Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
