ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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