The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
