this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
