wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
