happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I love you. Go after that dick
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
