id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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