Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
