i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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