Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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