Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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