Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
