it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
